It's almost ironic for me to talk about self-worth. That’s not because I don’t have any confidence in myself. It’s quite the contrary. I wholeheartedly believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. I honestly can say that I don’t think anything is off-limits. From where I see it, nothing is beyond my reach.
However, it’s much too easy for me to forget all that when I’m going about all my daily business. It’s even easier to let fear and self-doubt consume my thoughts. Despite having evidence that I shouldn’t be doubting myself, I still do. I ponder the thought that I’m not good enough, that no one cares about what I have to offer, and that I’ll never live the life I want to.
Those thoughts repeat daily—not needed or wanted. They spontaneously come up, without regard to what’s going on around me and despite people telling me I’m doing well. Yet here I am, trying to do my absolute best to be completely honest about self-worth. There is no exact answer to how to conquer one’s self-doubt. It isn’t overcome with smiling more or thinking happy thoughts. I’m talking about altering thoughts and beliefs that have been programmed into our brains from the moment we were born.
It’s our thoughts that cultivate confidence - not our results. In reality, it feels the opposite. We’ll forever be saying things like ‘I’ll be more confident when I have a better body,’ ‘I’ll be more confident when I ace that exam,’ ‘I’ll be more confident when I finally get what I want.’ Quite often, we feel more accomplished after those things happen, but that’s not because those events made us feeel better about ourselves; it’s because we permitted ourselves to feel worthy after they happened.
At the end of the day, it really is our thoughts that our sense of self-worth stems from. That’s why it’s so disappointing when accomplishing something doesn’t lead to the confidence boost that we hoped for or expected. You might have achieved what you wanted to, but you’re still thinking in the same doubting mindset that you were before, so you continue to not feel confident. Despite succeeding, the success just adds more fears and doubts. All of a sudden we’ve planned out more of the future, affixing our self-worth to our next goal—a better body, a better exam result, a better life. If we want to improve our self-confidence, working on our thoughts needs to become a priority. After all, it’s our thoughts that determine how we view our worth.
Unlearning something hardwired into your mind is difficult, but necessary. Not having much self-worth undermines what you’re willing to do for yourself. Are you worthy of someone else’s love and attention? Are you worthy of receiving good things? Do you have enough to offer someone so that they could ever value you? Not having a good sense of self-worth prevents you from having a mindset that allows you to believe in yourself and claim what’s yours. For things to change, you need to be the change. You need to first believe you are worthy of more and that you deserve more.
Making even the slightest shift in thought can be the first step to a significant life change. So, this quarter as we explore self-image, make it a priority to prioritize yourself. Your potential begins to be limited the moment you start second-guessing yourself. It can be reached when you realize that you are worthy of more than you can imagine.